It was a Tuesday and I had just gotten home from a girls trip to Vegas. I was super excited to pick up my littlest from school, she is in kindergarten and we don’t spend much time apart. I got to the school and my little hops in the van with a big bag from Claire’s Boutique and says “surprise, Grama took me to get my ear’s pierced”…… I was quite shocked because my mom only had her from 6am till the start of school at 8 and I picked her up at 4… Sooo when did they do it and did her dad know?😂 Her teacher looked worried at my reaction and said that Grama picked her up for a bit and brought her back with ears done…. Was that not ok??? Gah, so I assured her it was ok and then steamed the whole way home. I was so annoyed I asked Sissy if daddy knew and she was so proud she said “nope, Grama took me for surprise”…. Her daddy thought it was great and didn’t understand why I was so irritated. I always bounce everything off my bestie but I needed to digest it overnight.
The next morning I woke up still annoyed, my mom had been over stepping for many many years and I am positive she does it intentionally sometimes, knowing I will get pissy. During our girls trip Ams and I were talking about the things our mom’s do for our kids and that sometimes they overstep our boundaries in relation to our kids. So of course I message her as soon as I get home from dropping sissy at school and completely spew my frustrated pissy attitude to her…. And her response was “The only thing I can say is that you have grandsons that I have a feeling will get special favors from you even when their mom might not be 100% on board. Maybe. 🤣”……. 🤦 Talk about a perspective slap! That right there completely spun my view….. I totally do shit my daughter-in-law wants to right my neck for…. And I do it because it is a memory that my grandson will always have! It’s a little different and not anywhere near the overstep my mom made…. She had to sign the paperwork as legal guardian for shit sakes, I would never do that! But, I do knowingly do something that makes my grandson thinks he is getting away with a big deal on nights he spends with me because one day when he is my age that is a memory he will always have.
Having now lost all my grandparents, who were an immensly influential in my life, after I lost my last Grama just under 2 years ago and I also became a Grama around the same time, I had really wanted that 5 generation photo with her and my grandson but it was not meant to be. It was at that time a lot of stuff really shifted for me, priorities, it was like I was ready to enter a new phase of life. It has not been an easy journey for me, but who’s really is. I spoke at her funeral about how lucky I was and everything I learned from my Grama and that day I realized my grandparents left me one thing I never realized before… They gave me a goal to be as good a memory for my littles. Each of my grandparents were so different, one Grama was the baking, singing , crafty, mischief Grama, the other was the strong, fierce, strong headed spitfire. One grampa gruff and joked and sang the other was quieter, gentle and he touched my soul the most. The others each instilled different values, priorities and views that I still have today. They shaped my childhood in a positive way more than my parents. Now that I am a Grama I can so understand the difference between being a parent vs a grandparent and it’s.my job as a Grama to give my littles all the memories I possibly can because some day that’s all that will be left of me.
I wont lie, I’m still a little sore with my mother BUT I also realize this will be a memory that sissy will always have. My mom knew I would be pissy but it was important enough to her to do it and so I was not pissy, kinda think Mom was shocked and that makes me smile.